Under the Influence
by
L.B. Simmons
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Release Date: May 11, 2015
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~ Synopsis ~
Dalton,
I loved you once. A love I thought irrevocable. A love I mistakenly believed could transcend both time and circumstance. Under the influence of my dimwitted, naïve, traitorous heart, I became intoxicated with what I now know was simply a figment of my self-indulgent imagination. So drunk on the feeling, I couldn’t see what was right in front of my face. So foolishly enamored, I blindly followed my heart into the depths of an emotion that would ravage me.
Years later, I know now what I wish I knew then. I am stronger. Smarter. Tougher. I will not allow myself to be broken again.
I loved you.
I raged for you.
I wept for you.
And now, I’m letting you go.
Author’s Note: Under the Influence is the journey of two childhood friends that spans the course of five pivotal years in their lives. It is a story about their discovery of true friendship as it blossoms into first love, their experience of crucial sacrifice and ultimate betrayal, and their endurance of agonizing heartbreak on the way to finding lasting redemption.
Spencer
Dalton’s
voice is thick as he begins to speak. “I’m sorry, Spence. I know I hurt you—”
I
shake my head dismissively. “You didn’t hurt me. I’m just tired.”
The
corners of his mouth dip downward and he lifts his hand, placing his palm
against my cheek and swiping the moisture with his thumb. My heart would
typically melt at the tenderness of the gesture, but now I find it only
aggravates me. I narrow my eyes and shove his hand away from my face.
“Don’t
do that. Don’t do something you don’t mean.”
Channeling
my sorrow, anger begins to churn as I step away and turn my back on him. My
bare feet carry me to the wooden rail that lines my porch and I brace my good
hand against it, leaning forward and inhaling deeply.
Dalton
growls with frustration. “What the fuck? Of course I mean it. The last thing I
want to do is hurt you, Spence. I’m trying to apologize here.”
I
laugh humorlessly and turn to face him. “For what, exactly? For stalking me on
my date tonight?”
His
blue eyes now heat with a different emotion as they slice to mine. “The date in
which you were being manhandled by some fucking loser who asked you out for no
other reason than to get back at me?” He scoffs openly. “You should be thanking
me.”
I
cease the fight to hold back my tears, permitting them to flow freely as I
respond. “I handled it, did I not? I don’t need you to protect me, Dalton. I
can take care of myself.”
He
chuckles, unsmiling, as he removes his cap and throws it to the ground,
dragging his fingers through his hair in irritation. My glare hardens as I continue my rant.
“And
yes, he asked me out to get back at you. Are you apologizing for that?
Or are you apologizing for the fact that because of your stupid crusade against
me dating anyone EVER, I was so excited to be asked out that I accepted a date
with said fucking loser because I wanted to know what it would be like to
actually be wanted for once?” Not entirely true, but true enough to make my
point.
My
breaths are heavy and my pulse is thrumming rapidly through my entire body. I
angrily wipe away the tears as I inquire, “Why is that, Dalton? Why is it that
you don’t want me, but no one else is allowed to have me?” I shake my head in
frustration as I stumble on my words. “I just…I don’t understand.” My voice trembles and my chin
quivers with the admission.
Dalton
heavy boots sound as he stalks across the porch. I avert my gaze, but once he’s
in front of me, he curls his fingers around my chin and pulls my face into his
line of sight. His eyes burn into mine as they narrow in earnest. “You think I
don’t want you? Goddamn it,
Spencer,”
he bites, “I want you so much I can’t fucking breathe when I’m not with you.
Every single time I force myself to walk away from you, I feel nothing but
agony as the anger that simmers here,” he breaks to pound his closed fist on
his chest, “breaks free and chars my insides with each step I take.”
His
eyes begin to glisten and his jaw tightens as he shakes his head. “I can’t
fucking breathe without you, don’t you get it? I want you so much that being
without you is absolute torture.”
He
swallows deeply and moisture seeps from my eyes at the sight of his exposed
emotion as he continues. “I want you, Spence, but I can’t have you. I won’t allow it. You’re too good, too
pure, too innocent, and just as your presence soothes me, mine will eventually
flaw you. It’s inevitable, and I care too much for you to let that happen.”
I
watch a lone tear fall from the corner of his eye before he concludes, “But you’re
right. Even thinking about you with someone else, with someone else’s arms
around you as you look into their eyes the same way you’re looking into mine
right now, I just…” He casts his stare downward and shakes his head. “I just can’t. So I guess I’m
just a selfish, heartless prick, because where does that leave you?”
The
tear finally falls free from his chin, and I watch it strike the wood beneath
our feet before placing my hands on the side of his face and forcing his eyes
to mine. My voice trembles as I speak. “I know you like to control things,
Dalton. That’s how you’ve learned to cope and I understand that, but you don’t
control me. My feelings. My heart. And even though you feel you don’t deserve
those things, that they’re not yours to have, you’re mistaken.”
I
tighten my grip as he tries to look away and state with emphasis, “You ask
where that leaves me? Well, it leaves me right in the same place, on this same
porch, as I was six years ago when I met you. The day that all of those things
you think you can’t have I willingly handed over without question.”
Releasing
my hold, I turn away from him, knowing his refusal will absolutely destroy me
as I state into the night air, “I have always belonged to you. I will always
belong to you. Regardless of what
you’ve done, what you do, or what you will do, I will forever be yours. And
that’s my choice to make, whether you choose me or not.”
Amazon ** Amazon UK ** Barnes & Noble
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~ Review ~
I was eagerly awaiting the opportunity to read this book after being teased
with Spencer & Dalton's story through bits and pieces here and there. This
book was so worth it. Lb Simmons gave me characters to sympathize with, fall in
love with and hope for.
I love stories that make you FEEL. Stories that tear at your heart. Stretch it, shatter it into a million pieces and slowly put the pieces, no matter how jagged, back together.
Dalton and Spencer have been friends for years with stronger feelings lurking beneath the surface. Determined to protect Spencer from his past and the life he has been thrust into with no chance of leaving, he keeps his feelings for her to himself.
Spencer adores Dalton and knows when to push him and when to give him space. Her love for him unconditional but when she questions the depths of his feelings for her she is taken on a ride she won't forget.
Alike in more ways than they know, when their truths are revealed it solidifies their bond connecting them on levels deeper than the physical.
But when outside forces threaten what you value more than life itself can you sacrifice your own happiness for a greater good? Can one survive being separated from the one person that allows them to breathe? Will time and distance be friend or foe?
All great questions that you too can have answered once you read Under the Influence. Make sure to grab your copy today and if Lb Simmons is a new author to you I suggest you catch up. I know that will be awaiting whatever she has coming next regardless of when or what it may be.
I love stories that make you FEEL. Stories that tear at your heart. Stretch it, shatter it into a million pieces and slowly put the pieces, no matter how jagged, back together.
Dalton and Spencer have been friends for years with stronger feelings lurking beneath the surface. Determined to protect Spencer from his past and the life he has been thrust into with no chance of leaving, he keeps his feelings for her to himself.
Spencer adores Dalton and knows when to push him and when to give him space. Her love for him unconditional but when she questions the depths of his feelings for her she is taken on a ride she won't forget.
Alike in more ways than they know, when their truths are revealed it solidifies their bond connecting them on levels deeper than the physical.
But when outside forces threaten what you value more than life itself can you sacrifice your own happiness for a greater good? Can one survive being separated from the one person that allows them to breathe? Will time and distance be friend or foe?
All great questions that you too can have answered once you read Under the Influence. Make sure to grab your copy today and if Lb Simmons is a new author to you I suggest you catch up. I know that will be awaiting whatever she has coming next regardless of when or what it may be.
~ About the Author ~
L.B. Simmons is a graduate of Texas A&M University and holds a degree in Biomedical Science. She has been a practicing Chemist for the last 11 years. She lives with her husband and three daughters in Texas and writes every chance she gets.
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~ Connect with L.B. Simmons ~
Website ** Goodreads ** Amazon Author Page
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